FYI – All images in this post were designed by James Radin, the famous ‘Something’s Gotta Give’ set designer. Other than the title, this post has nothing to do with the designer or movie. Carry on.
{love the upper glass-front cabinets and symmetry in this kitchen}
I have a feeling I’ll regret starting this post at 10:44 p.m. But that seems to be the only time I have to blog nowadays – late at night. Most of the time I choose precious sleep over typing since my body is getting more fatigued as my due date inches closer.
I’m a few hours away from working full-time at my day job as a pharmacist {loathe the job, love the coworkers}. Ever since our first was born nearly seven years ago, I’ve always worked part-time. However, in recent weeks my hours have increased due to volume. It’s draining me physically {standing for 10-12 hours at a time with maybe one bathroom break and one fifteen minute break to shove something to eat down my throat} and mentally {it’s sucking all inspiration out of me on my days off}. On top of my day job, we’re renovating {duh!}, preparing for a baby {oops!}, and trying to keep our two boys’ lives as ‘normal’ as possible. Handy Hubby is traveling more than ever for work and it’s throwing our reno/moving schedule all off.
This news isn’t meant to bring on a pity party. I’m grateful I have a job and thankful that HH was promoted even if it requires him to be away from us. Instead, this is more of an explanation as to why I’m not posting as much as I normally do. Unfortunately, House*Tweaking is taking a back seat to life.
{love the recessed TV, striped chairs and tongue and groove ceiling}
It irks me because this is what I really want to do. Write, design, answer emails about decorating conundrums, etc. You know the saying, ‘There’s no time like the present.” Well, I do believe that. In fact, I have a few non-H*T projects in the works that are design-related and I’m super excited to share them with you when they come to fruition.
But for now, I’m in this transition period where I feel I’m doing a little bit everything and not doing any of it as well as I could. And that irks me too because I have high expectations for myself and my work. I’d much rather be focusing on one or two things at a time and giving them my full attention than be pulled in so many different directions that no one/nothing is getting the best of me. It kills me to not be able to answer every single email that comes my way and to not be able to help every single person who asks for design advice. I want to say ‘yes!’ because I love seeing the potential in any space and bringing it to life. I love improving things.
{love the grasscloth on the walls paired with white, teal and green}
So, I’m asking that you be patient with me. I’m on the cusp of a big change. A big change for me anyways. A change that I’ve been working towards and yearning for for a long time while waiting for the correct timing. But until that time comes, I have to suck it up and fulfill my duties at my day job and put my family and my health above H*T. Something’s gotta give.
This doesn’t mean I’m quitting H*T or anything like that. I could never do that! But my ideal goal of 4-6 weekly posts isn’t realistic at the moment. I have a vision of where I’d like to take H*T if I had the time. I have so many ideas! I sort of feel like a caterpillar in a cocoon growing wings and preparing to start a different kind of life. I’m excited and extremely scared at the same time.
Stick with me. H*T’s not going anywhere.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a total meltdown while folding laundry in the middle of the living room floor a few weeks ago. Poor HH. One minute I’m sitting there cross-legged folding away and the next I’ve got tears streaming down my face because I let the gravity of our situation get to me. I’m an ugly crier. My face gets all contorted and red. My nose snots up. My eyes swell shut. But things could be much worse.
We’re so lucky that we’re healthy, that our boys are healthy…and loud!…and rambunctious! We’re lucky that we’ll soon get to see another lil’ guy or gal grow and change right before our very own eyes. We’re lucky that we have a ton of friends who are graciously giving us baby stuff since we got rid of ours thinking we were done-zo with kiddos. We’re lucky that a very thoughtful H*T reader selflessly donated her fashionable maternity wardrobe to me just as I was outgrowing my non-maternity pants. {That really did happen!} We’re lucky that we have a safe haven away from our renovation. We’re lucky that we’re getting to renovate an old house into our own home. We’re lucky that the only pressure on us to get into our Underdog is the pressure we put on ourselves. We’re lucky that we have jobs that need us. We’re lucky that somehow this entire experience {selling by owner, downsizing, renovating, unexpectedly expecting #3, moving to another city, meeting more demands at work, etc.} has made us closer.
We’re downright lucky.
What about you? Got anything that you feel especially lucky about? Any big changes coming your way that you’re crazy excited-scared for? Have you had to put something you love on the back burner for a while and let it stew until the timing was right? Had any laundry folding breakdowns lately? C’mon, I can’t be the only one.
images: all James Radin
inspiration