...because home doesn't happen overnight.

Truth: I’m giving myself a break. Last week I came across a brutally honest post written by my blogger friend, Belinda. She opened up about doing and having it all. It really hit home with me.

I was inspired to leave this comment:

Hey Belinda. This post could have easily come from my brain. It’s so honest. I agree that blogging is becoming somewhat of a competitive sport. I’m constantly comparing myself and my blog to others and that’s not doing me any good.

Like you, I’m a stay at home mom of three. My baby doesn’t sleep through the night. I’m soooo sleep deprived. I have no other family help the majority of the time. My husband works late nearly every evening and travels away from home a lot too. I do what I can. When I’m feeling especially good about a blog post, more than likely my house and kids haven’t gotten my attention for a good chunk of the day. When my house is clean and running well and the kids are happy and I’ve been involved with them all day, there’s no way I’m getting to a blog post. There’s a trade off every day. At the end of every day, I’m constantly thinking about the things I didn’t get to. Like you said, it’s exhausting.

I think I really need to lighten up on myself. I never started blogging to be famous or make money, so I don’t know why I feel the need to strive for either now. House*Tweaking began as a creative outlet for me and somehow it’s become work. Sure, I’d love to cover at least the costs of running the blog and share my ideas but, in the end, if it’s affecting my family life in a negative way then something’s not right. I’m still trying to figure out where I go from here. I applaud you for regrouping and refreshing. Kudos, girl.

I think we need to remind ourselves that ‘famous’ bloggers have spouses, babysitters and nannies or other family members to help out with their kids. Or their kids are older and sleep through the night and are at school during the day. OR they don’t have kids. Some even have professional photographers to document their days. I’ll bet a few even have housekeepers. {gasp!} And no matter where you live, there are only 24 hours in a day, so being online most of the day means taking away time from something else: sleep, exercise, family time, leisure time, etc. I’d rather be well-rounded than be seen on FB or Twitter all day. I was just thinking today that I kind of miss the days before social media.

I say keep doing what makes you happy. You will draw the audience you want that way. I love your kid parties, corners of your home and DIY decorating. I think posting one really beefy post a week is way better than posting several fluffy posts every day.

You’ve inspired me to re-evaluate my own blog!

xo from across the globe,
Dana

I don’t want H*T to feel like work. After all, that’s why I started it! The problem is I’m a yes girl. It’s really difficult for me to say no. Before kids – heck, even with two kids – it wasn’t unusual for me to have a lot on my plate and still get it all taken care of. I’m a busy-body. I don’t need a ton of sleep to function. I’m good at managing my time. BUT with three kids in the mix {one of which has yet to sleep through the night. ahem, Mabrey.} and a HH who works long hours and is traveling a bunch for business, I have to start saying no. I am only one person. I cannot do it all. So why waste my time trying?

Recently, I’ve gotten caught up in an awful ‘yes’ cycle. I say yes to so many people/events/things that by the time I’ve fulfilled my obligations, there’s no time left for the stuff I enjoy. Like decorating, DIYing and tweaking. And I wonder why I can’t make any good progress on my house!

So I’m taking a step back and heeding my own advice. Quality over quantity, people. I think my kids, my HH, my blog and my self will all be better for it.

I’m not even going to pick up any of that.

images: 1) Belinda Graham 2) Dana Miller for House*Tweaking

63 Comments

02.October.2012

Just a few notes of encouragement for you …

You have a baby! I never feel I can manage much else other than barely keeping up until my baby sleeps through the night, which was at least a year for my kids.

I think you’re a new SAHM, and no matter how much you wanted this which I know you do, it is still an adjustment.

Be gracious to yourself. :)

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02.October.2012

Dana, good for you! I’ve can in no way compare my life/blogging experience to yours, I’ve been blogging for about 5 minutes, I work full time and ocassasionally my cat/dog get a bit miffed when I’m on the computer for too long. But I’m hearing you! I started blogging for all the right reasons and in a short time felt the pressure to ‘do’ things to blog about rather than blog about what I actually do when I feel inspired, have the time, have the $. The compeditive nature of blogging is unattractive. You see so many excellent ideas and posts around and know that someone has put so much thought and time into it and there are two comments but 50 Pins and G+’s! Yes I love reading your blog…your the first one I ever encountered! Keep true to yourself and fit blogging into your life not life into blogging.

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02.October.2012

I’ve always been a firm believer in quality over quantity. Otherwise it shows. And as this blog is not your lively hood you are doing the right thing by re-evaluating. As a married, working mother of 2 I understand the stress and pressure of being pulled in many different directions and wanted to exceed at all it. But at the end of the day your family, your health and most importantly your happiness are all that matters. Thanks for keeping it honest!

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03.October.2012

Dana,

I’ve been a fan of your blog for a long time, not because of the frequency of your posts, but because you have great ideas and a different point of view that keeps things fresh and fun! I’ve seen your blog readership grow because of your sense of style (and sense of humor ;)

Take time to enjoy your family, and the success that you have achieved already with the blog!

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03.October.2012

I am a little late commenting and hope you see this, and it might not mean much coming from an unknown person, but I would rather see someone be healthy in mind, body, and spirit that feel as though they are lacking in certain areas. I will say this is one of my favorite blogs to read and it is one of the first I look to see if there is a new post from you, but (I am 25 and have a boyfriend and no kids, for what that info is worth) my dad has always told me all that matters in life is family/relationships. Everything else is just stuff =)

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04.October.2012

I totally agree with you on all this. The way I fight the “blogging guilt” is to remind myself that my blog is basically just a journal of my family’s days. It’s OK to not get everything.

I think a lot of it boils down to choosing–we are bombarded with so many choices each day, and a lot of the time we have to choose between two very good things. It stinks, but we do have to look our options and, in those instances, choose the option that best accomplishes our long-term goals–and those options are usually the slightly-less glamorous options. But in twenty years, we’ll be thanking ourselves for the wisdom in consistently making that choice.

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09.October.2012

Amen. I had to give up the blogging (please don’t do the same! :) because it is not where I wanted my focus to be, and it wasn’t a creative outlet like it oirginally had been.

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