...because home doesn't happen overnight.
11.15.12 / Speed Blogging

Speed blogging. It’s not unlike speed dating and it’s what I’m doing today. It’s something that I think every mommy blogger out there has done at least once. {If you’re a mommy blogger or a daddy blogger or a non-parenting blogger, please tell me you’ve done it.} It’s a post that’s quickly typed out when one realizes that it’s almost the end of the blogging week with only one post {and a giveaway at that!} published earlier in the week. And every professional blogger out there advises to post at least 3-4 times weekly to keep your audience entertained so I MUST GET OUT ANOTHER POST! I’m tap dancing for you people. I’ve got a sequined leotard, coat tails, a top hat, cane and everything!

Why the quiet blog lately? As you might already know, HH has been out of town for work over the last ~3 weeks and I’ve been held hostage by the kids. When the blog is quiet that usually means my house is pretty loud and chaotic. And when the blog is cruising with posts, well, my house is still pretty loud and chaotic. But missing that extra pair of adult hands has left me with no hands to type up posts. Which begs the question: at what age is it okay to start dictating blog posts to your baby? I hope you say seven months. Please say seven months.

Guess what. Mabrey just scored her first job. You go, babygirl.

I’ve also been plugging away at non-bloggy projects {mood boards, my writings elsewhere, planning ahead for some pretty amazing collaborations coming up – all of which I’m stoked about!} one of which included getting the mudroom – or at least a corner of it – in ship shape. See above.

Me to myself: Okay, so that’s one image and three paragraphs. Is that enough for a post? No. More tap dancing.

So, back to the kids. Because that’s where my mind is these days. I should probably throw in some random kid convo as well to keep things real. Yes, let’s do that.

Layne: Really, mom. Eggs? Eggs for breakfast? I don’t want eggs.

Everett: I have to pee.

Mabrey: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Layne was voted onto student council earlier in the school year. As a former student council president, I’m so proud of him. This week they are busy organizing a food drive for a local food pantry so we’ve been working on a poster and lines for a video they’re filming today that show other students what to do with the food they bring into school. He likes it when I say “Lights. Camera. Action!” before we practice then “…and scene” at the end. Seriously. I could totally go in and make that entire video myself knowing each kid’s lines and ROCK IT.

Layne: Ugh. I wanted the ketchup next to my eggs not on top of them.

Everett: I have to poop.

Mabrey: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Everett has been busy being Everett. That kid is strange. He scares me sometimes. He studies people and their mannerisms, gestures, clothing, accessories, etc. like he’s an actor prepping for a biographical film about that person. He takes it all in then chooses his role for the day and totally commits to it. This morning before preschool he was playing Grandpa. He couldn’t see without his glasses {a.k.a. bright blue sunglasses with puppy stickers on them – hey, he does what he can with his limited props} so had to wear them while he got dressed, ate breakfast and went to school. He is asking Santa for straps {known as ‘suspenders’ to the rest of the world}, black dress pants {just because they have the word ‘dress’ in them doesn’t mean they’re for girls. Let’s make that perfectly clear.}, a tie and golfer’s cap to play Uncle Ray next.

Layne: Hey, those eggs weren’t that bad. Can I have some more?

Everett: Mabrey pooped.

Mabrey: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

All of a sudden Mabrey has decided to take a bottle. I pretty much follow her lead on everything. It’s easier that way. So when she decided earlier this week that bottles were her preferred method of calorie intake versus nursing, I went with it. I haven’t nursed or pumped for two days so I think we’re done. Just like that. I’m sad and happy at the same time. I think I’m feeling the effects of the hormone changes that go along with weaning. Hormone changes + single parenting = cray cray mommy. While HH has been away, Mabrey has learned to sit on her own, clap, hold her bottle and feed herself solid foods. Oh, and type. HH won’t know what to think when he sees her again!

Layne: You know my lunch you made me yesterday? It was good but can you not give me so many carrots next time. The thing is I love carrots but I want to eat them all and they just don’t give me enough time at school to eat that many.

Everett: Can I see Mabrey’s poop?

Mabrey: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

HH comes home tomorrow. It’s also our 10th wedding anniversary. I’m giving him the gift of daddy time. Quality one-on-three time with the kids. It’s all he’s ever wanted. And more.

…and scene.

FYI – Mabrey didn’t type this post. Really. Do you think a baby could spell ‘accessories’? C’mon. Even I have to look at that one twice. Two c’s? One c? Two s’s? One s? Two r’s? One r? So. Many. Consonants.

image: Dana Miller for House*Tweaking

75 Comments

15.November.2012

OMG! I love this post. I never comment, but this post was just too funny! :)

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15.November.2012

This post made me laugh so hard- as a mommy to three kiddos, and a husband that travels (but has never been gone 3 weeks- I don’t know how you did it! :) I can all too relate- glad you get that extra set of adult hands back soon!

(Love your bench in the top photo!)

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15.November.2012

As a mom of 5 with a frequently traveling husband, let me just say, “You’re awesome.” Mabry spelling accessories made me LOL. The end.

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replied on November 15th, 2012

Five kids?! You win.

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15.November.2012

Hahahahaha! Poor mommy! HH couldn’t come at a better time ;)

I enjoyed this post :)

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15.November.2012

I also LOVE that bench! I realize they say to blog that often, but as a reader (not a blogger) I’d rather have less. I like that you take your time & your posts are always well thought out and full of good info. I’m actually glad that blogging wasn’t around when mine were little. I have 3 boys, the youngest being 17. I’m afraid it would have distracted me. I can just imagine myself telling them (over & over) to go do something for just a few more minutes while I sit here at the computer :) Enjoy yourself, time flys and they are grown and gone before you can blink.

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15.November.2012

loved this! and love the bench. where did you find it?

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replied on November 15th, 2012

Wayfair. It’s called a ‘saddlers bench’ I believe.

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15.November.2012

love it. bless your heart…..3 weeks. not sure it would have been possible for me!! and i only have one

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Life gets in the way of blogging…even for us non-parents-unless-you-count-furry-pets-as-children people, so I can’t imagine what it must be like for you! Just know we’ll all be here waiting to read your next post…whether it’s in one day, one week, or one month. :)

And like everyone else…I’m obsessed with that bench!!

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15.November.2012

SO hilarious. I read this in double time because I imagine that’s how you typed it.

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replied on November 15th, 2012

Nicely done.

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15.November.2012

This (and your awesome design taste) are why you’re one of my fave bloggers! Hang in there, Dana, and enjoy a big glass of wine after you hand the kids off to your husband!!

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15.November.2012

As one fellow crazed mommy to another, don’t worry about tap dancing for us, we get it! Also, I’m so (SO) relieved to know that I’m not the only person out there who has a poop obsessed kid (not calling Everett poop obsessed but I pretty much hear those things coming from my daughters mouth about every hour). When I imagined being a mom, I never realized I’d spend so much time thinking/talking about/looking at/cleaning up poop. My poop, her poop, animal poop…I feel like a poop connoisseur. Ok, enough about poop. Enjoy having HH home and enjoy your time once you escape!

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15.November.2012

Most.Awesome.Post.Ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hand those kids off and go get something super cheesy, with wine, for your anniversary!

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replied on November 15th, 2012

Oh yeah. Melty gooey cheese and milk chocolate are on the menu for this weekend.

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15.November.2012

Totally awesome (and relate-able) post!! Also, totally awesome bench and bin in the mudroom.

As for the sudden stop to nursing/pumping – the same thing happened with both my boys. And it also made me/my hormones cray cray for a week or so! With my first son I fought and fought to keep him interested in nursing . With my second I followed his lead and one unexpected day it was just over. I was a bit sad, but it sure was sweet to say goodbye to that pump!

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15.November.2012

Hahaha – that’s hillarious. I can totally relate to things going a bit crazytown when the hubby is away. My hubby travels a lot for work too (but not in such long stretches) and it’s a lot with a two year old and nine month old. I have so much respect now for all the single parents out there. You should treat yourself to something relaxing when HH gets home or hire a cleaning service to come over (I know I’m a serious slacker on housekeeping when my hubby is away).

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15.November.2012

I’m digging the storage basket in the photo! Can I ask where you found it?

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replied on November 15th, 2012

The felt basket is from Target.

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replied on November 16th, 2012

I have the same baskets from target but mine do not have handles and it drives me bonkers. Did you add the handles yourself or does your target have superior baskets?

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replied on November 16th, 2012

The rope handles came with the basket. I saw the handle-less one you have and considered it – it was cheaper! – but decided I liked the rope detail. The basket will collapse if one of the boys smashes it but it easily pops back up with a little tug at the handles and stays that way until the next smashing. Not sure if my Target is any different than yours. The rope handled baskets were on an end cap – not within an aisle.

15.November.2012

This post cracked me up!! It’s definitely time for some you time. And yay for HH coming home!

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15.November.2012

the poop, the carrots, the biographical film study – funny stuff!

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15.November.2012

I can’t wait to see you this Sunday crazy momma! We are all crazy moms – hang in there! 3 weeks is insane! I barely get by a night!

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15.November.2012

I love your posts. I am also a Mommy (1 and 3 year old) and also have a husband who travels in the winter time ALOT!! Like hes scheduled to be gone for 67 days this season!!!!!! I am also LOVING your bench! You have to source it!!! It would be so cruel not too!!!

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replied on November 15th, 2012

The bench is from Wayfair.com and I think it’s called a ‘saddlers bench’.

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15.November.2012

I really appreciate the sequins and wonder if your gorgeous baby daughter could have possibly packed more development into those 3 weeks. Thanks for sharing a reality check after getting that stencilling done (impressive!). Well done you – sending a virtual mummy trophy your way :)

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15.November.2012

*Loved* this post – it seriously cracked me up! I’m just really impressed that you’ve managed to post at all (I don’t have kids, my husband is at home, and it’s still probably been about of month of crickets over at my blog – I have good intentions, but then life happens). Yay you!

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15.November.2012

One of my favorite posts ever—you’re hilarious. And like Melissa, I read it really fast because I imagined that’s how you typed. Don’t stress yourself out, I love whenever you show up in my Google Reader feed—no tap dancing needed! ;)

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15.November.2012

This made my day! It’s so great how you’re able to keep it real and laugh at life. And be so funny while sharing it too! Thank you for this and Happy Anniversary!

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Hahaha! While I love the narrative and random insights for your day, you should know full well that we’ll all keep coming back here whenever you post – 1/week or 5/week :)

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15.November.2012

You are hilarious, and I love your posts! Take your time with the kiddos, we understand…HH will be back soon, and then enjoy you some “you” time! ;)

P.S. I LOVE that bench! Where’d you score that!?!

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replied on November 15th, 2012

Nevermind, just saw the source for the fabulous bench. Thanks, and have a wonderful day!

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15.November.2012

3 – 4 posts EACH week? I guess I’m thankful I don’t blog for money cause this momma of one little wild 2 year old couldn’t keep up with that pace! Single parenting is a. lot. of. work. Glad HH is headed home to y’all! Happy Ann’y!

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15.November.2012

Favorite post yet. ;o)

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15.November.2012

Haha this is too funny.. I can’t wait to have my own little ones!

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15.November.2012

Dana, I am laughing SO hard!!! Oh man…the life of a mom. I can so totally relate.
One-on-three time for HH’s anniversary present…priceless. ;)

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I am laughing crying, or is it cry laughing right now! Okay, there may be a little pee laughing in there, too! Thanks for sharing the inner workings of your mind. We can all relate. I just love your ‘off’ sense of humor. Okay, gotta get the eldest off the bus, so let the bus stalking begin. Have a great day and I hope you get a big hug from HH when he returns. You are clearly superwoman.

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15.November.2012

You are WONDERFUL.

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15.November.2012

One of the best posts I’ve read in a long time!! Brava!

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15.November.2012

One of my favorite posts yet!

My husband travels a lot for work too, and I also have two young boys (the younger of the two is very strange–in a good way), and I am expecting baby number three. I so get it.

Do you ever feel, at the end of the day, so exhausted from all you’ve done, and yet when you try to recount (maybe to your husband) just what you’ve done, you come up with a sorry-sounding list of accomplishments? Drives me bonkers!

Happy Anniversary!

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replied on November 15th, 2012

Oh yes! Since HH has been away we talk on the phone every so often at night after the kids are in bed. He asks what everyone’s been doing and I find myself saying, ‘Crap! There was something I was going to tell you about someone today but I can’t remember which kid it was about and what they did!’

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15.November.2012

I love this post. Take care of you lady!

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15.November.2012

This post made me laugh out loud! As a mom of 3 kids 5 yrs and under I completely get it! I love your blog and love when a new post pops up in my reader. I’m inspired by your house and your style. Thanks for sharing the journey with us!

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15.November.2012

I have been following along for a while but have never posted a comment. I got a good chuckle from all kid convo bits and just wanted to thank you for keeping it absolutely real!

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15.November.2012

Thanks for keeping it real, it’s like in school when the teacher tells you to just write and something will come to you. Congrats on all of Mabrey’s forward progress. We have a 9 week old and every small change is worthy of a celebration. Also, Happy anniversary to you & HH.
Kirk

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15.November.2012

I’ll jump on the train here to say that you are amazing! I feel tired just reading what you’ve been up to. I fully appreciate your pulling the Fosse costume out of the costume box (I’m just guessing here that as another former dancer, you had a costume box too) to entertain us. (And now I have “Let Me Entertain You” from Gypsy in my head.) I’m always excited when you show up in my Google Reader- no matter how often it is. Happy Anniversary and Congratulations for the last 10 years and 3 weeks!

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15.November.2012

What a cute and fun post!! I love the teaser photo! Can’t wait to see what you are up to. I hope you enjoy some relaxing time to yourself and happy anniversary!!

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15.November.2012

LOVE the bench! And it isn’t often that a kid-related post makes me laugh so much (I’m 24 and very much childless), but this one is by FAR the funniest I’ve ever read.

Oh and happy happy happy anniversary!

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15.November.2012

Dana, I laughed out loud at the things your kids say and Everett wears–this was a cute post! Congratulations to you and HH on 10 years too! P.S. And thank you so much for the stickers! :)

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replied on November 15th, 2012

Oh great! You got them!

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15.November.2012

I’m “only” the mom of 2, three and one years, nor do I blog. But that being said, there have been PLENTY of things I’ve done “speedily” because I have no other choice.

And congratulations on 10 years. We just celebrated 7 years on the 12th :)

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15.November.2012

Thank you for the hilarious post! It sounds just like my house! I too have a traveling hubby and 4 boys. The last one is 4 months and still nursing. I’m having weaning envy. I also have an Everett (well, his name is actually Owen and he too is the second boy). All the things your Everett does is what my Owen does…costumes, smothering his baby brother, imitating family members. I laughed so hard when I read this! Thanks for taking the time to write this post and help all us moms see we’re not the only ones out there!

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15.November.2012

Omg, this post cracked me up. And reminded me of my own life a leeetle too much :) Hang in there and hope you get a good break when your hubs gets home!

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15.November.2012

the best part about speed blogging is the stream of consciousness :) so so funny! AND, way to go on being super mom without a man for so long. i spend many nights alone with just the boys and it is so tiring. dinner and bedtime are enough to make any mama crazy. your boys will remember your love and service to them when they are older. what a gift you are giving to them!!

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15.November.2012

This post is JUST what I needed for the end of my day…. love it:) Keep on rocking it my dear!

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15.November.2012

This post made me smile. I love that you’re so true to your life on here!

Side bar – does this mean you are back to dairy? I can’t imagine how I’d feel after months without it – I’m sure I’d gorge myself on cheese as soon as I could!

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replied on November 16th, 2012

I did sprinkle a little bit of parmesan cheese on my spaghetti last night but nothing crazy. I also made some chocolate no bake cookies with real butter. That was a treat! But that’s been it so far. When I went dairy-free, pretty much the whole family went dairy free so there aren’t that many dairy products in our house. After making the switch to almond milk, I don’t think I’ll ever go back to cow’s milk. And I loved cow’s milk so that says a lot for almond milk!

It’s funny. Once you make a lifestyle change like that for a long period of time, it kinda sticks. I am, however, looking forward to some steamy, cheesy pizza {as much as I want!} and eating anything made of milk chocolate. I probably won’t go overboard though because I imagine my body will react, like ‘what the heck is this?!’

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15.November.2012

I read your blog all the time and never comment, but this post got me. Hilarious. Keep up the good work mommy. You’re killing me here. “so many consonants” hahaha :)

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16.November.2012

I can totally get it! I actually like the way you post. Your pictures are clean and simple and your writing is funny. I look everyday for a new post but understand what you have going. So if there isnt a new post I just check back every hour for the next few days until you post something… Just kidding.

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16.November.2012

LOL! I think this is one of your best posts so far. (don’t get me wrong I LOVE the decorating stuff). But this was so refreshing to read, different from your normal posts and it almost felt like a quick sitcom sandwiched in between decorating episodes. And I love the part about Everett. cracks me up. :o)

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16.November.2012

When I’m rushed to type an email reply, write a thank you note or any kind of written correspondence, the end result is always better than when I take my time to really think about what I want to say before putting it into text. I think the same is true for you. Your posts are always well written, but you must be an excellent speed blogger because this is the best written, easy-to-read post. I love it! I really think you should start speed blogging your regular subject posts as you did this one. Please take that as a compliment. :). Your blog is definetely one of my faves!

My first grader at the dinner table tonight:
“Did you know The Mayflower is a ship? It’s made out of wood. Some ships that are made out of wood aren’t pirate ships. The Mayflower was a pilgrim ship and they travelled really far because they wanted to go to a new city, and they ended up in THIS city! They put salt in their food to keep it fresh. So, mom put salt in our rice and our oatmeal to keep it fresh, okay?”

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replied on November 16th, 2012

Your first grader is one smart kid!

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16.November.2012

All my random thoughts: Hang in there! For the record I didn’t notice that there had only been one post this week- so hopefully no one else was too upset by it either. Course, that could be because it’s cray cray over here too. Not that I don’t love all the H*T posts I can get, I’m just not getting upset by a missed one here or there, so rest easy Dana, we’ll all stick with you. That’s what blogging’s about, right? Thank goodness (for your sake) HH is coming home soon!!! Everett sounds like such a funny kid! Love that!

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Haha I could have type this myself yesterday (minus the 3 kids, I only have one). I realized I’ve only posted once a week for 2 weeks and really wanted another post last night, despite the fact that I was working on a few hours of sleep thanks to a teething baby. So at dinner, I told my husband that despite I said I would be going to bed when the baby did maybeee I’d just throw up a really quick short post about the carpet we just ordered. He told me no and wrote a post for me instead. Thank god for him.

So yeah, minimal posting is understood around here and I don’t mind. I look forward to your posts no matter when they pop up :)

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16.November.2012

This post was perfect. I laughed and felt your pain, all at the same time. So glad that HH will be home today! But three weeks? Wow! Way to go!

Sequin and a top hat suit you. : )

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16.November.2012

HA great post… I think we’re all guilty of speed blogging. And since I’ve spent way too long today in my pajamas, unshowered, nursing my coffee it looks like it’ll happen today.

Everett is quickly becoming my favorite ;)

Don’t beat yourself up. Enjoy your anniversary [even if it means leaving the kids and hubby at home]. I’m a fur mummy and I don’t know how you do it. You’re like super blogger and totally deserve to speed post.

I thought accessories was a bit difficult for a toddler…

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16.November.2012

I say quality over quanity with the posts

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16.November.2012

Hysterical post, whoever wrote it. :)

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17.November.2012

Love this post. I’ve been on hubs-is-traveling-so-I’m-a-single-mom duty all week, as well (albeit with just one 11 week old bambino) and it’s tough! Blog posts just don’t roll out like they usually do. But I think you’re on to something with that whole baby typing idea….

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20.November.2012

Hi Dana!
I never leave comments but I love your blog and your design taste!
I wanted to thank you for this post because it gives me hope that my daughter, who is 2 months younger than Mabrey and refuses to take a bottle, will one day be weaned…. I gave up on even trying bottles at this point. How did you do it? Did you keep on trying every day? Please share for the desperate breastfeeding mom that I am! :-)
Keep on writing, you’re great!

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replied on November 22nd, 2012

Yep. Basically, I offered her a bottle once or twice a week for the past seven months and then one day, all of a sudden, she not only accepted it – she enjoyed it! I think it had a lot to do with her age, becoming more independent and wanting to try new things. She loves to hold her bottle herself now.

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03.December.2012

FYI: My favorite post ever.

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Loved this post. Thanks for being so honest with your readers.

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