...because home doesn't happen overnight.

Dearest Outlet Find Chairs,

baylorchair

I know it’s Valentine’s Day and all and I’m supposed to buy you tacky flowers, burn your favorite meal, shave my legs and wear matching bra +panties BUT…

I don’t know how to tell you this so…I’ll just tell you. There’s someone else.

taylor1

I’m sorry. You’ve changed.

baylorchair2

Ever since you started dropping upholstery staples a few months ago for Mabrey to pick up and stick in her mouth, we’ve drifted apart. You’ve become a liability. I can’t have someone like that in my life – or at least in my living room – right now. I have my children to think about. I need someone more dependable, more responsible, less likely to puncture my baby’s intestines.

I wasn’t looking for someone else. I promise. It just happened. What’s that you say? What’s he got that you haven’t?

taylor2

Well, he sort of reminds me of a modernized, new-and-improved you.

taylor5

For one, he keeps his staples to himself. He’s in good shape and takes care of himself.

taylor4

His tufting is more subtle.

taylor3

His legs are way sexy.

taylor1

He’s a family man. He hugs me and my kids all at once. Something you never did.

taylor6

He firmly supports me. He just gets me. When I’m with him, it’s like I’m wearing my favorite heathered tee.

taylor7

He and I are good together.

Can we still be friends? Maybe you could live in my bedroom. Or would that be weird? Too awkward?

Sincerely yours,

Dana

P.S. – If you decide to go, I completely understand. Just please give me back the SD memory card that I lost somewhere within your frame months ago. I know you have it. I can hear it tumbling around when I shake you.

FYI –  I was the winner of a $1,000 gift card to Thrive Furnishings in Apartment Therapy’s Room for Color 2012 contest. I used the money to purchase the Taylor chair in expectation grey. So, clearly, this guy is as much yours as he is mine. All of a sudden polygamy doesn’t sound so bad, does it?

My contributions to the Hey Girl meme…

hey girl

hey girl2

hey girl 3

hey girl 4

images: Dana Miller for House*Tweaking

44 Comments

Sexiest post about a chair ever. I may be in love. Really though, I love that chair!

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14.February.2013

That new armchair could definitively fit in my room … nice choice ! Especially since it’s kind of a gift ! Take care.

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Good looking and well built. The total package.

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I’m in love with your chair, too! And your Hey Girls…so hilarious.

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14.February.2013

I giggled so hard at this! Love the new chair.

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14.February.2013

That is one sexy chair!

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14.February.2013

Very Don Draper.. Love it!

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14.February.2013

Hahaha, awesome post, Dana!

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14.February.2013

Oh this is so good! You make me laugh!

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14.February.2013

LOL! LOVE the chair!!! And for some reason, any mention of the boob speakers always gets me. Too funny – loved your post!

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14.February.2013

Oh god, that chair is amazing! I have been looking for something similar but I seriously just cannot justify spending so much on a chair (when my sectional cost about the same!). But damn is it pretty. Thanks for sharing the love.

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This whole post had me grinning. Hilarious. And I’ve been waiting to get a better look at your new chair since you posted a sneak peek on Instagram. Love-ly!! I cannot believe I missed the opportunity to Hey Girl Meme Chris in today’s post!! (There’s always Facebook.) ;)

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14.February.2013

You know how they say that design blogs are like decorating porn? Well you’ve taken that to a whole new level ;) I love it! And the chair is pretty dang sexy :)

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14.February.2013

haha too too funny. Taylor is hot.

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14.February.2013

loved this…and i love how you described the beautiful chair.
I want that chair, seriously, absolutely gorgeous!

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14.February.2013

Hilarious post! You are too funny

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I am TOTALLY drooling over that chair. It’s fan.freakin.tastic.

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14.February.2013

That chair is gorgeous! Perfect! I want one!

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14.February.2013

This post is HILARIOUS!! Very handsome chair, I must say.

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14.February.2013

such a cute post, and i LOVE the new chair! well deserved!

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14.February.2013

This has to be one of the funniest posts ever. And probably the best breakup letter. :) I love the new chair!

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14.February.2013

I love the chair, but I secretly want to have love-child babies with this witty post. Yet another reason I keep coming back. I adore your blog and hope that you and your family are having a wonderful Valentine’s Day!

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14.February.2013

This clever post just put a big ol’ smile on my face. Nice to see you having fun with your blog while creating some fun for your readers. Happy family cuddling in that debonair chair.

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14.February.2013

Ha! You crack me up! Love your new chair! :)

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14.February.2013

I mean the chair is nice and all… but your hubby is HOT!!

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14.February.2013

All these meta ‘hey girl’ posts are cracking me up. Here’s my contribution: http://sugarsugarhouse.com/2013/02/13/hey-girl/

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Amber (a different one)
replied on February 15th, 2013

I laughed out loud! Those are great! :)

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14.February.2013

ahahahaha! Thanks for a good “laugh out loud” post from start to finish!

LOVE the new chair – yep, it’s sexy! And your hey, girl’s are wonderful!

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14.February.2013

BEST. POST. EVER.

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Love the chair and too funny! Love the your Hey Girls! xo Kristin

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14.February.2013

Oh my gosh. Love this post and love the chair!!

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14.February.2013

Wow, that chair is the sexiest hey girl meme I’ve seen today. So nice!

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14.February.2013

Hi Dana, I have a huge appreciation for your wit! Thanks for making me laugh today! Happy Valentine’s Day with your sweet family.

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14.February.2013

Hilarious post! Very festive. Love the chair too.

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14.February.2013

Great post– hilarious! I am wondering, u gave talk about the boys room so since changing direction. How do feel about the flor rug? Is it soft enough to play and wrestle around on? Are u happy with the color you chose?

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14.February.2013

Love the chair. But that rug is pretty fetching as well… do tell. :)

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14.February.2013

I agree….. why the HELL not, right?

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14.February.2013

Oh, Did you just remove the striped carpet?

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14.February.2013

You’re hilarious!
Thanks for the laugh-I needed it today!
(the new chair is great too)

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14.February.2013

Genius piece! And the chair really is ooh la la. A perfect fit for your style, your family etc. Funny clever writing – wow! Love it

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16.February.2013

Hey I voted for you so that chair is partly mine! Seriously, the chairs are so similar, I had to read what you wrote three times to pick up the story. A little slow on the uptake . . .

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14.March.2013

The new chair is very pretty!

And I laughed at your “hey girl” meme’s. That’s funny! I’ll have to do one of those sometime featuring my husband.

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19.March.2014

[…] how to unscrew the lid on her sippy cup then proceeded to dump all her water on the seat cushion of The Chair. Me being the clever stir-crazed, impatient, cabin fevered, frazzled, frustrated mom that I was in […]

02.July.2014

[…] *http://www.housetweaking.com/2013/02/13/she-loves-me-she-loves-me-not-hey-girl/ […]




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