...because home doesn't happen overnight.

riviera maya

Last winter when it was -20°F and we were suffering from cabin fever, Steve and I booked a trip to Mexico. Sans kids. I had mixed feelings. I was excited to have something (warm!) to look forward to, but I couldn’t help feeling a little anxious about how it was all going to play out. Disrupting a family’s routine is no joke. Who will watch the kids? Who will get the boys on and off the bus? Who will supervise homework? Who will feed and check in on Cheetah? Who will make sure Mabrey gets to gymnastics and Everett gets to his tennis lesson? And, crap!, I need a passport! The logistics alone had my mind reeling.

Everett’s accident happened a few weeks before we were scheduled fly out. That only compounded my anxiety. How could I possibly leave my kids after something like that? The timing was all wrong. But Steve was quick to point out that Everett was fine. His wounds were healing and he would be back to school. Plus, the vacation was already paid in full, non-refundable. My bonus mom was practically shooing me off to Mexico, stepping in to take care of the kids. “Go! Have fun!”

The day before we left was insane. It was almost enough to make me want to call off the entire thing. Typed schedules, lists, laundry, packed bags and backpacks, a birthday present for Layne’s best friend, drop-offs, goodbyes, lots of hugs and “Oh! One more thing…” And that was before I even started packing for myself.

riviera maya

But you know what? It was all worth it. In fact, it turns out the timing was perfect. It was just what we needed, although it took me a day or two to completely relax. At home, I don’t sit down until after the kids are in bed for the night. Lounging doesn’t come naturally. But by the end of the week I had it mastered. (Piña coladas helped.) And guess what? The kids were fine. They even missed me which doesn’t happen all that often since I quit my day job.

For so long, I’ve felt that vacations without kids aren’t worth the hassle / chaotic preparation / expense. I’ve even considered them a sign of weakness. Shame on me! I’m slowly realizing that’s just the mom guilt talking. It’s okay necessary to take a break – whether it’s an hour or a week. Sometimes I need to step out of my everyday roles as chauffeur, parent, booger wiper, toilet cleaner, etc. to be just me with the guy I married. I don’t want to be one of those couples who don’t know each other when their nest empties. So I’ve started thinking of these chunks of time alone as investments. They’re investments in our sanity, our relationship, our family, our future. And we’re vowing to make them happen more often. Looking at things from this perspective really diminishes the guilt for me.

riviera maya

What about you? How do you view adults-only vacations? Luxuries? Necessities? Investments? Do you vacation without kids?

images: Dana Miller for House*Tweaking

81 Comments

12.May.2015

Dana,

I got all teary as I read your post! Yes was all I was thinking, it is always sooo hard to leave our kids but you are so right that it is crucial for our marriages. My husband and I went away to Quebec City for 2 nights this New Years as a surprise (we had vacationed there for our honeymoon). We were both ill and almost didn’t go but we are so glad we did (though I think warm next time for sure). Just the time to reconnect was amazing and so critical :-).

12.May.2015

My husband and I went to Hawaii this year for our first ‘kid free’ vacation in probably 8 years. It was wonderful – I have no idea why we didn’t do it sooner. Actually, I do know why…it was my mom guilt that was holding us back, like you said. We don’t want to be strangers ten years from now either. And even though it was expensive, it was WORTH IT.

12.May.2015

We just took our first vacation without kids for our 10 year anniversary! Neither one of us had been to Chicago (which was within driving distance) and we had a fun week of exploring the city and enjoying the night life! One of my Instagram captions read “Drinks + standup comedy + amazing tacos at midnight + subway ride at 1:30 AM = SOOOOOO not my typical Thursday night.” I had made a “Book of Things to Know” for the grandparents who cared for our 3 boys that was 15 pages long. Ha! I’m pretty sure they would’ve been fine if I hadn’t made the book but that was more so I could relax while away. Like you said- it was so worth it on so many levels.

12.May.2015

I don’t know about “adults-only” vacations because we never took a vacation without our kids….we still don’t, even though they are grown. Now they come with their families…we rent a bunch of cabins or hotel rooms or a huge condo…all depends on where we go. Of course I am a firm believer in everyone must do what works for them and makes them happy….so I guess with this in mind – go for it!

12.May.2015

It is a necessity. We spend so much time making sure everything else thrives that we forget to nurture and care for our partnership which should be number one. We made a pact this year to do one san enfants vacation annually. It is gonna be NASHVILLE this year :)

12.May.2015

I completely agree with this entire post.

Do you ever go to a baby shower and they tell you to write down a piece of advice for the parents-to-be. This is ALWAYS my piece of advice. It is so important to take a break as a couple and remember why you fell in love and why you became a couple and why you decided to become a family. It is an opportunity to remember you were a couple first and loved each other so much that you wanted to add children to that love-fest. If you stop taking the time to just be with each other and love each other, then it all trickles down. By keeping the couple happy – the family stays happy and well.

You are setting a wonderful example to your children. That love is important and it is worth spending time and energy on.

As a mom of twins, my husband and I planned our first alone trip when the boys were only 10 months old. I remember being in the break room at work having a guilt-fest. I was a resident at the time – I worked super long hours – how could I leave my babies. I was barely there anyways… taking the vacation was making me feel like the worst mom ever. But, a favorite nurse was listening to me fret… and she simply told me to stop worrying. She had been married for 18 years, with three kids and taken an adults-only vacation every year since her first was born. She said it was the best thing for her marriage and in turn the best thing for her family. I went on that first trip and my husband and I have continued the tradition.

So glad you had a good time!

12.May.2015

I LOVED this post! I am single without kids, but my parents went on cruises together without us kids often. They called it their “marriage insurance.” I remember as a child being jealous and angry with them for not including us. However, as an adult I look back at that and I am so thankful! My parents are still together and adore each other (most of the time haha). It was so much more important for my sister and me to see a healthy marriage than to go on every single vacation with them, even if I didn’t understand it at the time.

12.May.2015

Hubby and I took our first kid free vacation this past spring break to Costa Rica. It was fabulous, it was so nice to reconnect with my husband and remember before we were parents, we were a couple. My kids had fun being spoiled by grandma, grandma had fun showing her grandkids to everyone, and mom and dad got to be “Sylvia and Martin” again.

12.May.2015

Yes! Yes! Yes!! Adults-only vacations are a luxury, a necessity, and an investment!! My mother-in-law does NOT subscribe to this kind of thinking though, and my parents never really vacation, so I had no idea how important this was when I was a new parent. A few years after our first was born, I was gifted with a bonus set of “inlaws” – which is a long story – BUT they INSISTED that we take regular adults-only vacations. They reminded us of all the things you (and others) said, with the main theme being that it’s an investment in our marriage! And the foundation of a good family comes from a solid relationship between the parents. So now my husband and I regularly get away (we try for at least twice a year) and it’s made EVERYONE happy!!

12.May.2015

As a working mom of two, lounging doesn’t come easily to me either (does folding laundry while listening to Pandora count?). The hubs and I are taking our FIRST real vacation for our ten year anniversary in August to Hawaii for eight glorious days. I’m crazy anxious about leaving my little ones, but they’ll be in my mom’s capable (maybe more so than mine) hands. So happy that you and Steve were able to enjoy some well-deserved R&R. Also, how amazing do you look in your bikini? Get it, girl.

12.May.2015

Awesome! Where did you guys stay? My wife and I are going in July.

12.May.2015

Couple vacations sans kiddos? Yes, for sure. But more importantly – you’ve had 3 kids!!? Holy hell do I need to start working out.

12.May.2015

“Marriage insurance”…love that!

12.May.2015

I’m a child of parents who did stuff without the kids. They went out for dinner/movies fairly regularly, and my brother and I would spend a week with grandparents each summer. As a kid, I never thought anything about it–they’re my parents, they’re grown-ups, they make the rules! So I hope parents won’t worry about what the kids think.
Now that I’m older I really appreciate that they modeled loving each other as individuals, not just as parents.
And the weeks with grandparents were great–it meant we got to know each other better, not just from interacting at family events/holidays.

12.May.2015

A friend / co-worker of Steve’s had been graciously offering up his time share at Grand Serenis Resort for years. We finally took him up on it. It did not disappoint!

12.May.2015

From the perspective of the empty nest: vacations sans kids are 100% essential to personal and relationship sanity! They’re even good for the kids. The entire family benefits. Really and truly. (Remember that we’re the ones who impose and accept that mommy guilt stuff on ourselves, and we can shed it–no external permissions required.)

12.May.2015

Been married for 8 years with 3 little ones (5,3,2). We find that it is essential to our marriage to do date nights and getaways without our children. I’ve heard that some people may look at that as being selfish but our marriage has always been our #1 priority. I feel that if we do not nurture our relationship with each other then our children end up suffering (as well as ourselves). I believe our children ultimately look at us, as parents, to be the example of a strong, loving connected partnership. It’s amazing the level of love, the level of connection and the level of joy that we feel when we spend that time together. Please, please, please continue to spend that time together with your significant other :-). Eventhough I enjoy date nights….sometimes a few hours away is just not enough time to really, truly connect :-). Hope you are planning your next vacay already ;-).

12.May.2015

we are going on an adult only vacation in June to San Francisco. I’m excited and nervous! My biggest worry is that something will happen to one of my kids while I’m away! Is that lame? It makes me nervous to leave…but I keep telling myself that my kids will be on good hands and so will I

We just had our first baby. I love her to death and although I don’t ever want to leave her I know time away will be important. I am already trying to come to terms with our first date night.

12.May.2015

i love this. I’ve been dreaming of a vacation without kids and not to visit family for ages. It truly is an investment in your marriage. I recently read a quote that says “your children can wait while you work on your marriage, but your marriage can’t wait while you work on your kids.” I want my marriage to be around till the day I die, that means investing in it in ways like this. Thanks for the reminder and nudge that the kids will be okay!

12.May.2015

my husband and I are considering going on a couples only trip to California this summer. Our daughter is 3 and a half and we just had our first night away from her last week. She stayed with her cousins and had a blast. I worry about leaving her for 4 days but I think it is good for our whole family.

12.May.2015

So glad you got to go on this vacay and get some R and R. What a gift, with all that transpired prior to your trip. You and Steve are in great shape. I’m envious of your killer legs that go on for miles!!

12.May.2015

Yes, the answer is D) all the above. Our daughter is 3.5 and we have regular date/overnights every few months or even every month. We are extremely lucky in that my parents can’t get enough of my daughter and love when my daughter has sleepovers at their house. I definitely have guilt but it really is nice to go out with friends, get a hotel in the city or just have a late dinner out. Our first lengthy trip without her was when she was almost two and it also took me at least a day to shake off some guilt. We also have an unwritten rule that we won’t go more than 4 nights away from her, at least for now. And now that she’s a bit older we actually enjoy going away with her! We have lots of travel planned for out little family of three, but we won’t forget to have our escapes for just two either.

12.May.2015

Ah, I’m blushing ;)

12.May.2015

My husband and I try to get away just the two of us at least once a year. It’s good to remind ourselves why we actually like each other! Usually it’s just a night or two on the islands or in the mountains. But this summer is our ten year anniversary and we had a big trip planned to Merida, Mexico. I was practically drooling with excitement. But then in March we got the (very sudden) news that he has chronic kidney failure. So that trip was cancelled. Now we’re focused on dialysis and getting a transplant in the next year or so. Then we’ve decided that we’ll go on a “transplant celebration” trip when it’s all over.

12.May.2015

Not lame at all! I think that’s a common concern among parents. But if we always think that, we’ll never get away, right?

12.May.2015

Good for you! We haven’t planned another vacation yet but I’m already looking forward to it. I listened to an NPR program last year that discussed the benefits of purchasing experiences over material things. Apparently, the planning and anticipation of an experience (like a vacation) is more satisfying and makes for longer lasting happiness. I don’t know about you but thinking of all the vacation possibilities is *almost* as good as the vacation itself.

12.May.2015

So true!

12.May.2015

My siblings and I (there were 4 of us total) would spend a month each summer with our grandparents who lived in Florida. I never felt like my parents were shipping us off or denying us of anything. In fact, I looked forward to that time with my grandparents and the change of scenery was nice, too. There were always tears shed when we left to return to Ohio and lots of hugs waiting for us at home.

12.May.2015

You will have an amazing time! I’m a little jealous that you have a few more months of anticipation – almost the best part! And the bikini? Well, let’s just say that vacation was a HUGE motivator for me over the winter when all I felt like doing was sitting by the fire. Vacations are good like that ;)

13.May.2015

Just recently our little girl was off with my mother to Dubai. My husband works in a different state and lives there usually. We too were headed to Dubai ten days after our little bundle, when my husband arrived home 3 days before we left to Dubai. It was a different kind of vacation – at home – with the baby. :)
I think I really liked it. And yes, I love my baby very much (both of them!)

13.May.2015

Dana, congratulations in your bikini-body! I will keep this image in mind when I auto sabotage comes to mind and think about skypping my pilates lessons.
My son is 1,5 y and our 1st baby-free trip will be next march. I was thinking about some days, but my mom “decided” that it shoud be a whole week.
We live far away from our families (well, my family lives in another continent) and it is difficult to get away as a couple. We paired with the neighboors to exchange baby sitting, but in the first (and only) time we left our son he waked up and cried (and we were only away for less than 2 hours!).
Tonight we are traveling to visit my mother in law and I will ask her if maybe she would like to spend a week if us in the next future.I am so in need to date my husband!

13.May.2015

Congratulations on your vacation! Taking vacations alone with hubby is something we should do more often if we can and have someone to help watch the kids… My husband and I try to do that everytime one of our parents comes to visit. So we try to take 2 days out and go somewhere. At the beggining I felt guilty, but my mom will say come on Go!…. It is worth!

13.May.2015

So awesome for you guys! My husband and I leave for Mexico at the end of June. It’s our first vacation in 6 years since our first kiddo was born. I am beyond excited to just relax and spend uninterrupted time with him. But I, like you, have wanted to cancel that trip at least 10 times since we booked it. I worry about leaving the kiddos and about our plane plunging to a firey death!! But I know this time is essential and I will push through with the help of prayer and xanax (for the flight)! Ha! You look awesome by the way!!!

13.May.2015

I have serious mom guilt. Next year is the husband and I’s 10 year wedding anniversary and we’ve decided to go some place just the two of us. Even though it’s over a year away I’m still worrying about who will watch our kids, feed the dog, what happens if someone gets sick/hurt and we have to cut our trip short, etc. But I guess I have the next year to get over it so I can do some relaxing :) I’m glad you were able to enjoy yourself- it looks beautiful.

13.May.2015

Must be nice…jealous for sure.

13.May.2015

This is great. Just curious, how many days was your trip? Wondering if you think a long weekend away is enough, or is it worth it to get away for the entire week.

13.May.2015

Good for you, Dana! I loved the way you called it an “investment”–that’s the perfect way to put it :)

I’m one of eight kids and my parents didn’t have a lot of time for themselves/each other. That is one thing my mom drilled into me as I got older: your relationship comes FIRST. It’s a little controversial, but I love that advice.

I look at it as a gift to my kids–they are in a home with a solid, loving relationship and that gives them a sense of security. Plus, they get to see what a healthy relationship looks like!

We’ve taken advantage of my MIL since the kids were babies and I’ve never regretted it! YES, the prep part is HELL, but it’s so worth it in the end!!

xoxo

13.May.2015

We try to take one big Adults Only vacation every couple of years, and then will do a few weekends at the lake throughout the summer without the kids. I agree that the prep part is always so hard, but the time away is WONDERFUL and coming home to big smiles and big hugs makes me realize that it is OK!
Glad you guys got away and enjoyed your time together!

13.May.2015

yes, yes, a million times yes! Hubby and I try to go every 2-3 years just the 2 of us. This winter we went to Hawaii and it was awesome! I have said it to everyone who will listen. a vacation with kids is not a vacation… it is a trip. I love our family trips, but vacay with the love of my life is the best.

13.May.2015

Sorry to hear that, Giordi. Hope things go well, and you’re sitting on a beach toasting to your husband’s improved health very soon.

13.May.2015

I’ve never understood the mom guilt of having time to yourself/with your spouse. It’s absolutely critical to everyone’s happiness to get a break! That being said…our daughter turns two in June and we have never left her overnight. Easier said than done, apparently! :P
One of the biggest issues for us is that we don’t live near family — so I wonder what people do in that case? I can’t imagine flying my mom in for a week, especially since my daughter wouldn’t really KNOW her but we could never afford to pay someone to stay with her for a week.
Anyone else in this situation?

13.May.2015

Definitely necessary! My husband and I are going to Key West for two nights sometime soon!

13.May.2015

Just what I needed to hear. I am booking my mom pronto and getting away for at least a weekend this summer!

13.May.2015

I’m not a mom– I’m only 21 and unmarried. But I found this post really interesting, and I would like to share it with my friends who do have kids. I think taking a kid-free vacation is really important! My parents NEVER went anywhere without me and my brothers when I was growing up, and I honestly wish they had! There were a few vacation we took that would have been better for my parents without us (i.e. Washington, DC before we were old enough to appreciate it; Hawaii before we were old enough to appreciate it). My memories of those two trips are fuzzy at best, and my brothers are both younger so they remember even less than I do.

It’s good for everyone to let the parents get away for a while without the kids. It’s a recharge for Mom and Dad, and it teaches the kids to not take their parents for granted!

My parents never went ANYWHERE without us–I can count the number of date nights and weekend trips they took during my childhood on one hand. They drifted apart and it didn’t end well. Now that we’re expecting our first baby, my husband and I have already discussed prioritizing our time together as a couple. Traveling is something that we love to do together, and I can’t imagine forgetting that part of ourselves or trying to force our kids to enjoy an non kid-focused trip. Wine tasting in Napa Valley just wouldn’t be fun for little kids…or us, if we’re centered on the kids the whole time. Enjoy your investment in your marriage! :)

13.May.2015

Right now my kids are too little to leave for a vacation, but we do try to have date nights sans kids. When they’re older, I fully intend to take time away here and there without them. Family vacations are great, but alone time is important too. Thinking of it as an investment is a great way to look at it. We all need to invest in our important relationships.

13.May.2015

Yes! Do it.

13.May.2015

I’ve been married for 30 years and the hubs and I still like/love each other! Vacationing without the kids as well as date nights is essential to the well being of a marriage IMHO. When our sons went off to College we continued and expanded our shared interests as well as our own individual interests (which actually enriched our relationship, more things to talk about). Recently, our oldest son explained that what he wanted in a relationship was something very close to what his father and I have. I was happily surprised and moved by that. I believe if the children see their parents happy together that makes the kids feel very secure and loved as well.

13.May.2015

When we lived in Illinois, our closest family was 5 hours away. We had a group of friends in the same boat…living far from their families. When we all had kids (4 boys within 6 weeks of each other!) we made up a schedule that paired two couples each month and rotated. The couples paired together would exchange date nights and childcare. (One couple would have a date night alone while the other couple watched the kids. Then the couple that had the first date night would return the childcare favor another night that month.) Overnights were permissible! It was nice because it was free and the kids were so close in age that everyone kinda knew what they were in for. No, it wasn’t a week in Mexico but it was something!

13.May.2015

I feel the same way.

13.May.2015

Personally, four days is the minimum for me to feel recharged and make all the planning worth it. (Given, the first two days are usually spent wondering what the kids are doing and figuring out what to do without them.) A long weekend totally works but an entire week is pretty awesome, too. :)

13.May.2015

Aw, thanks. You will have a blast!

13.May.2015

Love this post! When we were getting married the priest that married us said the best gift we could give our kids was to have a great marriage – which means taking time for each other! We listened to that advice and 4 boys and 25 years later we’re still living our happily ever after. LOVE your suit! Would you mind sharing where you got it? Thanks! A tweakaholic :)

14.May.2015

Dana, I’m glad to hear you took a vacation without your kids. I couldn’t agreed more. It’s a necessity and an investment. We went away for a weekend ourself, and I felt like me not ‘mom’. Not cleaning, cooking, and yelling to stop picking on each other.

The day or rather night we left was insane too. Completely understand. :-)

14.May.2015

Your vacation sounds wonderful!

I love the style of your sandals… Do you mind sharing what brand?

My husband and I are celebrating 10 years next month but have to wait for a trip away until our youngest is weaned. Soon, though, you’ve made me excited to make plans!

14.May.2015

One of our favorite quotes in this house: travel is the only thing you can buy that makes you richer.

Well maybe that & a winning lottery ticket! :-)

My husband & I try to get away a couple times a year without the kids. We know they are safe, well cared for & loved while we are away. It benefits everyone in our family. In January we went to Iceland — it was a phenomenal trip. The things we did & saw could not have been done with two kids — trekking across the glacier where Interstellar was filmed, climbing around the glacial ice caves, dropping 8 feet into the snowy ground to find an amazing snow & light-filled cave, chasing the Northern lights at 1 a.m. It was an amazi g trip. Now our kids want to go! Tomorrow we leave for Los Cabos without the kids. Though we also do a lot of traveling with the kids, we feel it is if equal importance to get away without them (& done so with zero guilt). Even if you cannot get to far-flung places on Earth, any getaway is a great time to reconnect, laugh, & remember the reasons why you married & decided to start a family with each other.

14.May.2015

Necessity!!! Just got back from a weekend away with the hubby to a little cabin in the woods. Always good to get away, reconnect, and truly relax. Our closest family is 4 hours away, so if we don’t plan something away we never get a break from being mom and dad. We both work as well, so it helps to keep the love alive! Congrats on giving in and realizing how important it is!

14.May.2015

Isn’t it nice to just be able to hold hands with your honey???
Ok, I’m off to do some sit-ups now…

14.May.2015

I am new to your blog. My best friend sent it to me because we live in a ~1250sq 50’s rancher in the Virginia suburbs of DC. When we bought it a little over a year ago many loving people (90% from out of town) commented on how small it is. I was pregnant at the time and our son sometimes it would be nice to have extra storage space (mainly for baby things) but I value that the nursery is so close and we all hangout in the same open concept living/dinning area. We may reassess in a few years, but my hope is that with guides like you we can we can renovate, maybe add on just a little, and keep the house and our lives a little less about storage and more about experiences. ANYWAYS…back to the post at hand. My husband and I are going to the Bahamas for Memorial Day week. When we were in the throws of sleepless nights and me going back to work we knew we needed a time to reconnect as husband and wife. Luckily my in-laws are willing to come stay at our house for the week and hang out with our little guy and our dogs. Our 6 year anniversary is on Saturday so its just a little delayed celebration and one I hope to make an annual endeavor. I’m so excited.

14.May.2015

What do you do if there are no grandparents to step in for several days? I would love to take a trip with my husband, but every time we talk about it it comes back to what to do with the kids. Our youngest is 2, and needs someone watching her full-time. So it is simply not realistic to plan any long-distance getaways. Anyone has experience with going on a trip without kids and no family to help out? All I can think of is a cruise…

15.May.2015

So, so important! My parents quite often went away without us and my husbands parents were the opposite and never travelled without the kids and you can certainly see a difference in each of their marriages.

15.May.2015

Good for you! We travel a ton- both with kids and without. We take 3 substantial trips a year (2 with kids and 1 without). Someone quoted to me one time- “travel is the only thing money can buy that makes you richer.” I am a firm believer in traveling! Also, cute bathing suit, where did you find it? I need a new summer suit!

18.May.2015

For those that don’t have extended family nearby….book a babysitter and have a regular date night together.
My husband & I have 3 boys 17, 15, 8 years old and have been together for over 20 years.
Once a month we head out for dinner and or a movie together – NO KIDS.
We have a few glasses of wine, chat, and just catch up without all the background chatter and noise and mess.
We take it in turns ‘planning’ the evening, so it’s a surprise for the other one.
Every now and then we extend it to an overnight stay in a nice hotel.
Luckily we have family close by, so we do the date nights & the ALONE time holidays too.

18.May.2015

That vacay looks amazing! The hubs and I haven’t been able to get extended time away yet but we are saving and planning. We do have the grandparents take our daughter overnight for the occasional stay-cation and it’s awesome. Helps us stay away from living like roommates instead of a couple. I think they hardest part isn’t leaving your child – because you know they need a break from you too – but asking family or friends to take on caring for your child. I always feel like I’m inconveniencing them for selfish reasons. It’s totally in my head of course, they are happy to do it and someone else did if for them when we were kids but for me that is the biggest source of guilt and voice in my head holding us back. Gotta do it though!

19.May.2015

I love that quote! I would love to travel more – with and without kids. As for my bathing suit, the bottoms are Victoria’s Secret. I found the top on ebay of all places for $7! I like to mix and match tops and bottoms.

19.May.2015

Have the best time! And I’m so with you on the “more experiences, less house” thing. Have you read Tiny House Living? I’m reading it currently and it’s really resonating with me. It talks a lot about living with intention not stuff. Also, the book discusses living small based on the number of people in your family. We’re about 300-400 sq ft above what’s considered “tiny” for a family of five. I would love to live even smaller, cheaper.

19.May.2015

Your trip to Iceland sounds amazing!

19.May.2015

I bought the sandals from Kohl’s a year or two ago. They were <$15 and are comfy!

19.May.2015

Hi Tricia! My bottoms are from Victoria’s Secret and the top was an ebay find ($7!). I like mixing and matching tops and bottoms.

19.May.2015

Laura, hi! I’m a fellow 20-something with no kiddos and also loved this post and the comments here. I totally agree with you about how important it is for parents to get away.

When we did have the rare chance as kids to do an overnight with aunts/uncles/grandparents, it was SUCH a treat for us. It almost felt like everyone (not just the parents) got to have a vacation, even if for the kids it was just Grandma coming to our house for a few nights. Plus I think having the opportunity to miss your parents a little does make you appreciate them more. Missing Mom and Dad is not a bad emotion for kids to experience!

Am I eligible for a vaca after this discussion even if there aren’t any littles in the picture? ;P

It’s SO important to make time for yourself and your husband, even after having kids. I don’t have children yet, but my parents always made sure to go away once every few years if they could. They’re the happiest couple I know, so it must work!

19.May.2015

Thanks so much. Your blog is really an inspiration for how thoughtful and fun design can create quality small spaces for families. I haven’t read Tiny House Living – is it this book? http://www.amazon.com/Tiny-House-Living-Building-Square/dp/1440333165

19.May.2015

um, why did you even comment? excellent idea. it is an investment in your marriage!!!

19.May.2015

Yes! I’m not finished with it yet, but it’s so different from what I was expecting. I thought it was going to be very technical. Surprisingly, it’s super inspirational and talks a lot about how living in smaller homes isn’t about the house at all but about the way of life. I can’t recommend it highly enough – whether you’re considering a tiny house or not!

27.May.2015

I love your blog… you’ve got a gift for creating beauty!! I visit often and love seeing how you’ve transformed your home. :)
My husband and I have traveled alone often during our marriage.We’re blessed to have family close by who watch our three children. Now that our oldest is 20, only the younger two (ages 14 and 11) need to go to Grandma’s. It’s definitely worth investing the time and money to get away and connect apart from the daily stuff of life! I had to chuckle when I read this post… it always takes me a few days to totally unwind, too! Glad you went and hope you get to continue going often!

27.May.2015

We’re currently on sort of a kid-vacation. Now that our kids are school aged and we both work full time, there are a few weeks where we find ourselves with no school and no summer camp options – typically it’s Memorial Day week and Fourth of July week. We’re about 5 hours from each set of grandparents (opposite directions), so the girls get two weeks of Camp Grandparents each summer.

My husband and I have traveled together for mini-vacations, but honestly, this is almost just as fun. Yes, we’re still working, but we get to do all those things we never get to do when the kids are here. We meet up after work for drinks and a late dinner (at all the restaurants we would never take the kids to!), we tackle a project together at home instead of one of us working on it and the other one keeping the kids sane and out of the way. Plus, there’s something really romantic about being just two of us again in the same house where we started out as two.

It’s good for us individually too. This morning, instead of shuttling two kids off to separate schools and all the morning hubbub, I went on an hour-and-a-half walk through the gardens near our house before I ever went to work. It was so lovely, and such a different way to start my day.

Sometimes it’s just as hard to find the time off of work as it is to find the extra $$ to travel together – especially if you still want to take a family vacation together. But if you can find a fun option for the kids for a week or two in the summer, staying at home can be just as fun. No babysitter to pay, no schedules in the off hours to keep, um, no doors to shut. ;)

A good, necessary recharge for sure. I think it’s really easy as parents to start worrying about how quickly our kids are growing up, how fast these years go, how they will be gone from our house in the blink of an eye. There’s something really comforting about realizing that your partner is still there and just how much you enjoy one another’s company. Maybe more so, really. I’d take my forty-something husband over his 20-something version any day.

27.May.2015

What an awesome idea! A kid-free staycation…I like it. I hope you enjoy every second. It sounds lovely.

28.May.2015

I couldnt agree more Dana. Couples vacations ARE necessary, and they are absolute investments in your relationship. Im feeling it big time since becoming a SAHM. Its all kids all day everyday and ive been craving some time away lately. Im hoping for Sayulita, Mexico. We purchased passports last year when we sold our last house because part of the downsize plan was so free up some income to be able to travel more. Nurturing a marriage is hardwork, but its essential or one day you wake up and realize you dont know who you OR yoir spouseis anymore bc you were married to raising your kids all those years. This post is such a sweet reminder to take time. Thanks so much for sharing.

15.June.2015

Just from the other side of the coin. My parents never went on vacation without me and I am forever grateful for what they have given me and my siblings because of it. My parents didn’t have much money but I know that they would give to my sister, brother and I before themselves so going and experiencing a new country, a new culture and new people, languages and food without us was never done. Because of that, I grew up with knowing how much there was beyond the places I lived and the friends I made. What I got, because my parents never left us, is absolutely priceless and I know I will definitely give that to my two boys as well.

I agree with Laura up top. Whenever the “clan” goes out, it’s all of us, grandparents, kids, grankids, significant others and it’s a GREAT vacation. BTW, my parents have been married 35 years and will still be married another 35 years even though they never had an adults-only vacation (until we were well into our 20s). I wonder if this adults-only vacation concept is a product of the Facebook/ME-generation?

If you can, please take your kids…It’ll be so valuable to them.

15.June.2015

Oh yes! We go on vacations as a family as well but it’s really important to us to spend time alone together…whether that’s one night a month or one vacation every other year. For us, it has nothing to do with social media and “showing off” our vacation. (Those pictures I posted were taken with my phone on the last day of vacay. They were the only ones I took.) I think it’s great that you enjoy vacationing with your family!!