...because home doesn't happen overnight.
09.18.15 / Post #1,000!

1000-2

I sat down to write a more technical post and happened to look at my WordPress dashboard (which I never do because I hate thinking about the blog in numbers). The published post count read 999. WTF?! That just doesn’t even seem possible. I mean, I know I’ve been at this for almost six years but 1,000 posts feels a little monumental. So I ditched the technical post (i.e., saved it for another time) and decided to write something more personal. I spontaneously jotted down the first ten things about myself that came to mind. Fair warning: they’re pretty random. (AND THERE ARE A LOT OF PARENTHESIS.) (And some curse words.)

1. Audio alerts drive me crazy. Beeping microwaves, dinging washers, buzzing dryers, ringing & pinging phones. It’s sensory overload. (TVs and movie theaters always seem extremely loud to me, too.) I set everything to silent mode if it has the option.

2. I love tennis. Like, LOVE IT. I played two decades ago in high school and picked it up again last fall. I didn’t play much over the summer but have started playing more regularly in recent weeks. I play 3-5 times a week with an awesome group of ladies and it is so much fun. I like everything about it: the geometry of the court, the friendly but aggressive competition, the sound of a ball hitting a racket just right, the clothes, the exercise, the mental game, the net game, Roger Federer. If I had to choose between loving only houses or loving only tennis, I don’t think I could choose just one.

3. I’m running my first 5K tomorrow. I hate running. Not to be confused with running after a tennis ball. No, I’m talking about plain ol’ running. I ran track in high school, briefly. After passing out at the finish line several times, I was demoted to statistician. (math > running) I had always felt heart palpitations but I thought they were normal. Your heart is supposed to beat faster when you’re running, right? Years later after I had my first baby, the palpitations became so frequent and so severe even when not physically active that I finally saw a cardiologist and was diagnosed with PSVT. The arrhythmia was successfully treated via cardiac ablation in 2006, but a fear of running has been plaguing me ever since. Then Steve went and organized a 5K to benefit autism and I couldn’t not run (such a good cause, I want to support my husband, yadda yadda) so I’m running my first 5K tomorrow. Eek! My goal is to not pass out.

4. The last thing I binge-watched on Netflix was Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Summer. (The TV series, not the movie.) It’s hilariously stupid, if that’s your thing. (It’s my thing.)

5. I’ve only taken one bath in the tub we tricked out with a wood cradle base. It was glorious. It needs to happen again. Maybe after the 5K?

6. Things have been a little rough since Everett’s accidentPhysically, he’s fine but there are some lingering PTSD symptoms affecting both him and me. (So many acronyms in this post!) I don’t want to delve into details because he deserves some privacy, but, honestly, it has been extremely difficult watching him opt out of everyday activities due to fear. Ironically, none of them have to do with riding a scooter or bike. It’s also very hard to get anything accomplished when he so obviously needs my attention. The start of a new school year has brought even more challenges. This week was better than last week and I hope I can say the same next week.

7. The last thing I bought for our house was hand soap. Mrs. Meyer’s rosemary liquid hand soap, to be exact. It’s perfectly lovely but I am very promiscuous when it comes to hand soap. I’m a hand soap whore. I can’t commit! So many hand soaps, so little time.

8. The last thing I bought for myself was a vintage Mexican skirt on eBay. (see above) I’m crunchy like that. It was $29 and it’s going to be my fall staple. Fashion week, shmashion week.

9. Going from two to three kids did me in. There was a lot going on then. We were living in an interim apartment and renovating. I quit my day job. Mabrey was awful colicky and didn’t sleep more than a few hours at time for almost a year. I was running on fumes. Even if things had been more stable, the jump from two kids to three threw off our cushy 1:1 adult to kid ratio and I feel like we’ve been driving on a metaphorical flat tire ever since. People with more than three kids should automatically get $1,000,000.

I’ll never forget telling other parents of three that we were unexpectedly expecting a third child. They smiled the biggest smiles and kept telling us how “awesome” and “fun” it was. “It’s such a great dynamic,” they would say. Either we’re doing something wrong or it was complete bullshit. In reality, I think they were quietly celebrating, “Yes! They’re coming to the dark side!” I seriously can’t remember what life was like before three kids. That being said, I wouldn’t change it for anything. Mabrey is still my favorite surprise. And sometimes it is awesome and fun but most of the time it’s loud and frenzied.

1000-3

10. The best book I read this summer was Euphoria by Lily King. It’s a must-read!

*BONUS* I eat french fries two at time. They have to be similar in size.

Whew. I bet you’re glad this won’t happen again for another 1,000 posts.

images: Dana Miller for House*Tweaking

85 Comments

18.September.2015

Yah!!!!! Best post ever. Good luck on the 5k tomorrow and that whole having three kids thing ;)

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replied on September 18th, 2015

Thanks Alison!

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18.September.2015

1. Wet Hot American Summer the TV show is hi-larious. So, so stupid but so, so freakin’ funny! I mean, Detective Stabler’s still the cook!!
2. I also eat fries two at a time. If it’s just one, I fold it in half. And I dip mine in mayonnaise or BBQ sauce.
3. I could read posts like this once a week :) 1000 posts is amazing and thank you for sharing these little personal glimpses with us <3
4. Good luck tomorrow!!!

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18.September.2015

Haha! I eat my french fries the same way. They absolutely MUST be the same size, which causes problems when you get down to the last two fries. /perfectionist problems

Love your shirt and the skirt. And the boots. My wardrobe needs some love.

My heart goes out to Everett and you. Trauma can have the most unexpected lingering effects. Some things that I have found helpful: therapy, meditation, acupuncture, nutritional therapy. All the best to you and yours!

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replied on September 18th, 2015

I know! What to do with the last one?!

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replied on September 21st, 2015

Fold it in half and pretend that it’s two separate fries. That’s how I handle the conundrum.

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replied on September 21st, 2015

Can’t do it. I still know it’s ONE fry :/

18.September.2015

I love your blog and I love this post! I have three kids too (3 girls: 1,4, and 7) and I think I would be one of those parents saying how awesome three kids is! And it is! But the day-to-day is very overwhelming. I’m so blessed and so tierd :)

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18.September.2015

I LOOOOVED this post Dana. Love getting to know my fav family other than mine a little better. My heart and thoughts are with you and Everett every single day. May peace find him and may the light and happiness of childhood embrace him. Also i LOATHE running too. Being forced to do so at 4 in the morning for 6 years weather rain, or shine’ll do it to ya. I swore off running when i got out of the military, but recently did the color run and it was worth coming off of hiatus. Hope you have a fab run friend

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19.September.2015

Congratulations on 1k posts! My husband and I are expecting our third surprise this December, and I’m still freaking out. My first will be 11 and my second will be 9, I keep trying to tell myself it won’t be so hard with the other two being older but then a voice in the back of my head always screams “what are you doing starting all over you were almost free!” Of course I wouldn’t change anything but I can’t help but worry what I got myself into.

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19.September.2015

Congratulations! I first read your blog when I googled “2 boys and 1 girl” because I was about to cross over to the dark side of having 3 kids. I was instantly hooked because we are almost the same age, our kids are all the same ages apart from yours, and well, quite frankly, you made parenting 3 look easy and fun! You also inspired me last spring when you posted the picture on IG of the new bikini you rewarded yourself with for a year of working out (hello rock hard abs!) my boys and I prayed for E’s recovery as well. I am now hooked on TA and your blog! Bless you from Suwanee, Georgia!

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19.September.2015

Happy 1,000! Great post (and great skirt). I hope things get better for you and E. Has tennis replaced Tracey Anderson Method? Roger? Yes, please!!!

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replied on September 21st, 2015

For a few months now training for the 5K has replaced TAM. But I am really missing the muscle tone that TAM gives me. I’ll be back at it after the 5K…although probably only 2x per week since tennis keeps me active.

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19.September.2015

I love the mexican skirt :)

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19.September.2015

i love posts like this.

dude, the skirt – amazing. and finding a new normal after PTSD… i hope you get there soon. i can’t imagine how horrifying all of it was. was it a dream? did it really happen? so glad he’s okay, and i’m so sorry your’e still suffering. parenting is such intense vulnerability.

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19.September.2015

congrats on 1000 posts!! I loved your metaphor regarding having three kids! I absolutely love my little family of 5 but three kids is definitely a whole new ballgame! If you are looking for another way to benefit autism, check out the Columbus Walk Now for Autism Speaks & feel free to join Team Central Ohio Behavioral Consulting (my personal business)!

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replied on September 21st, 2015

Thanks for chiming in with more ways to support autism research!

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19.September.2015

Ok..I follow *religiously* your blog. I celebrated the new cat, cried over the accident, look AF your hair and say ” I should cut my hair”. This post? Spoke to me. Why? Because we heard the same.thing. 2-3 transition is “amazing” you’ll love 3 kids..blah.blah.blah. I love my 2 girls. But they eat.my.lunch. everyday. Both figuratively and literally. It’s hard and other women don’t always tell the truth on home life. You keep rocking and writing, mama.

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19.September.2015

Ummm ..even my autocorrect can’t handle it..we have 3 girls..not two. Thanks phone.

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19.September.2015

I love your skirt and tee! I love this post it’s nice to get to know the writers behind the seen a little bit. Thank you for sharing. I hope your son gets better little by little. Good luck on your run let me just say that your husband is amazing for raising awareness for autism with this 5k run. Many blessings to your awesome family. Lilly xo

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19.September.2015

happy 1000th!

i study PTSD for a living, but when my son had a life-threatening health issue and emergency surgery at age 4, it’s as if all of that knowledge flew out the window. know there are great resources out there, and don’t be afraid to ask for help or advice if you need it.

hope the race goes well!

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19.September.2015

I felt deceived after having my third, remembering a mom in the grocery store talking about how laid-back those third babies were. “They go with the flow, because they have to!” she said. Lies!

As my friend commented once: “Three kids is a lot more than two”. And that is the truth.

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19.September.2015

Good luck on the 5k! I’ll be running my first next weekend :)

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replied on September 21st, 2015

Good luck to you too!

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19.September.2015

My first post, Dana, though I’ve followed your lovely blog for quite a while. But this is to mention something about the post traumatic stress you and Everett are experiencing and to share with anyone else who has struggled. Take a look at a therapy tool called EMDR. It is life changing in a healing way for many people. Wishing you and your family the best.

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replied on September 19th, 2015

Just piggybacking to say EMDR is defiantly worth looking into. I had a traumatic event 5-10 years ago that I had still not processed and was causing fear and anxiety in everyday life. It wasn’t fast or easy, but about 8 months later I can easily say that type of therapy (I tried others previously) allowed me to process the event with regards to the emotions related to the event both mentaly and physically and the anxiety is SIGNIFICANTLY decreased (YAY!) I hope you and Everett find some peace in this area!

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replied on September 20th, 2015

I’d also recommend EMDR or some other short-term therapeutic intervention if these issues persist for Everett. If you do decide to go that route for him, be sure to look for someone whose practice is focused on children and adolescents AND has been trained in using these techniques with school-age kids. That said, sounds like you already know that what you guys are going through is natural and will most likely diminish with time and self-care. Hope you guys continue to have more good days and weeks on the road to healing.

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replied on September 21st, 2015

EMDR is a great tool — I’d also like to add (as a therapist who works with trauma survivors), that for KIDS, another wonderful and totally accessible set of tools is Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or TF-CBT. Don’t be put off by the long name. It’s a set of tools that a therapist models and teaches kids to help them to self-regulate the physical sensations and process the complex emotions involved with trauma. It’s really empowering for kids. Many therapists who work with kids are trained in it, and it’s an evidence-based practice. I hope you and your family can get some relief and peace after such a rough time. Sending you good thoughts.

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replied on September 21st, 2015

Thanks so much for this Elisabeth!

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19.September.2015

Umm TRUTH. Raising three kids (mine are 5 and under) is quite simply the hardest thing we’ve ever done. Our third was a *surprise* (i’d like to see the numbers on how many number threes are). It’s messy, beautiful, wonderful and all of that, but I still often find myself in a heap of tears wondering how a family can thrive with so much need and out numbered adults. I’m sure we’ll all figure it out in time for them to go off to college. :) Thanks for sharing your life with us, grit and all!

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19.September.2015

Congratulations on 6 years and 1000 posts!!

We are expecting our surprise 3rd, and I am thankful for your honesty about because even though this is a happy surprise, there is a definitly a part of me that is petrified!

As for everett, I feel for you, and knowmwhat you mean. After being diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes last March and having to grow into the management of this longterm disease. Keep fighting for him and alongside with him, you are doing great and with your love and your family’s support, it will get better.

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19.September.2015

Be gentle on yourself through the hard stuff, and thank you for sharing — the downs as well as the ups.

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19.September.2015

Caring for E may end up being the real reason you quit your job. Google “fish oil brain injury”. Many questions arose when my noninjured son turned 11. Much love, from another scrunchy mom.

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19.September.2015

What a fun post! I loved it…congratulations:) I eat french fries the same way! I also started binge watching Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Summer, but still have to finish the last couple of episodes.

I’m sorry to hear that you guys are struggling after Everett’s accident – hopefully things will get better with time:(

Good luck on the 5k!

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19.September.2015

1,000 posts?!?!?! That’s a major accomplishment! And I loved this post. I see we have a few things in common. I can’t stand the sensory overload that is our world now-a-days. I also eat fries the exact same way….and I have had PSVT my whole life, but didn’t get it diagnosed until I was in my mid-twenties.

My heart goes out to you and your sweet boy struggling after his accident. I hope you both can find more peace ASAP!!

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19.September.2015

Dana – Big congrats on your first 1K posts!!! I have 2 beautiful children & couldn’t be happier. Still, after dropping off our oldest at college this fall, one of the first thoughts I had was that we should have had more children! I’m not sure how we would have done it… But it was one of those moments of clarity. Anyway, I do believe things work out for a reason. We adopted a puppy this summer. He has brought a new type of joy to our family. Best to you & yours.

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19.September.2015

I did not know there was a post counter! I have no idea how many posts I have done but not as organized as you and I bounce around too much in post ideas. I am un-themed! I am sorry to hear that the accident has left “scars” but this, too, shall pass.

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19.September.2015

CONGRATULATIONS!
have a wonderful race.
&, lastly, thank you for your blog……..it is wonderfully refreshing……
& so full of good ideas…….
my best to you, your family & Everett……
one day at a time…………..

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I seriously loved this post!! I would be happy to read a post like this every week! Congrats on 1,000 posts…that’s no easy feat for sure!

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19.September.2015

Thank you for being so honest with #9!
Expecting our 3rd daughter for Halloween and the closer we get the crazier I think I am! haha! what was I thinking? I’m currently so so tired and way over my head…how can I add another child when I already feel short on time!? haha! love my kids and I’m sure I’ll survive this but still… just feels so so crazy!

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20.September.2015

Hi Dana,

I remember feeling compelled to comment about potential PTS when Everett had his accident, but decided against it because I didn’t want to project my own issues onto your situation! But, when my daughter was 3 years old we found her floating in a pool. She was pulled out, lay lifeless and blue, was given CPR, resuscitated, and then to the hospital. Thank the Lord she suffered no injury other than shock! She didn’t even remember what happened. I, on the other hand, suffered terribly with PTS. It felt very lonely and almost no one understood (because she was fine, after all!) so I didn’t talk about it. I had nightmares, flash backs to seeing her laid out on the pool deck, separation anxiety, etc. I did not seek any help, but I wish I would have!! One just cannot understand the trauma a parent goes through when (even for a few seconds or minutes) they genuinely fear their child’s life will be taken. I just wanted to encourage you that even without help, I felt much better a year later, and the year after that most of my anxiety had diminished. I can imagine that if I had seen a therapist it would have subsided much sooner. I do really encourage you to seek professional help for both you and Everett if you haven’t already.

Best wishes!

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replied on September 21st, 2015

Thanks Andrea! Sometimes I don’t even understand why I’ve had trouble since Everett suffered nothing more than some nasty road rash. But you’re right, it has everything to do with being in an acute situation where your child’s life is at risk. I am so glad I was there to be with him, but sometimes I do think it would have been easier if I hadn’t witnessed the accident. I haunts me, awake or asleep.

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20.September.2015

Fun and interesting stuff! On another note, I was tickled today to open the Boston Globe and see your interview. Well done!

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replied on September 21st, 2015

Thanks for the heads up! I wasn’t sure when it was going to print. I haven’t seen it yet. I hope my answers made sense.

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20.September.2015

I have PSVT too! Only an ablation a few years ago didn’t work for me. Congrats on being cured and thanks for sharing. Greater awareness for the condition is definitely helpful for those who suffer from it. Enjoy the run – arrhythmia free!

Cheers,
Megan

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replied on September 21st, 2015

I did enjoy my run! I hope you are being treated and don’t have too many symptoms. What are your doctors doing since ablation didn’t work?

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replied on September 21st, 2015

Just long term beta-blockers :) Although my doctors are also talking about trying again since the technology for mapping the heart is so much better than it was around 2007 when we first tried. Crazy that changes in medicine can happen that fast!

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replied on September 21st, 2015

I know! It’s amazing what we can do to our bodies with science and medicine.

replied on September 27th, 2015

I have it too! So funny because I’ve never met anyone else who has it, besides my mom and son. Cardiologists will tell you it’s not hereditary, but come on – my mom and my son. And he got it at 16, just like I did. I’m 50 now, and I’ve just put up with it all this time. I do this bio-feedback method of getting rid of the palps, which works really well. Strangely, though, I’ve never had one while exercising. They just come at completely random times, like in the middle of the night. Anyway, so glad the ablation worked for you, Dana, and I hope you find success the 2nd time Megan!

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20.September.2015

I think of you and Everett often as I battle with my 13 year old to ride to school wearing his helmet. I hope he feels better soon.
Love following along with your blog! Here’s to a 1000 more.

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21.September.2015

It looks so fun and interesting at all! I love your good ideas. My best wishes to you and your family!

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21.September.2015

Where did you get that Tshirt? Love it’

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replied on September 21st, 2015

It’s from the cutest lil’ etsy shop…

https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheBeeandTheFox

Not sponsored. Bought it on my own and love it!

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21.September.2015

I actually loved this post, having 3 kids did me in too, not so sure if it was having 3 or having 3 within 3 years… now I have a 14, 12, and soon to be 11 year old… these are trying times. I’m happy that you put that out there, makes me feel normal – most bloggers never admit the hard stuff. Of course I wouldn’t change a thing ~ except maybe the teenagers attitude to finalising assignments for school, yeah I’d change that one…

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21.September.2015

great post…so fun following you. and that skirt..perfection.

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21.September.2015

I do the same things with french fries! I’ve tried stopping, but it just doesn’t feel right. Such a strange habit to have in common with someone :)

And congrats on 1000 posts, quite an accomplishment!

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21.September.2015

Oh. My. Grapes. Love all your posts but this one in particular kind of freaked me out. You might be my personality doppelganger. I totally feel you on ALL of the above. Your comments on making the move from two to three tribe members was also timely for me (have two little girls and am expecting little man March 1st). Suffice to say I find you, your style and your philosophies inspiring and keep up the good work, lady!

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21.September.2015

#9 perfectly fits my life, too! The ONLY friend that I think was completely honest with us when we were surprisingly expecting number said, “When you go from two to three it’s basically like you’re happily treading water and then someone comes along and pushes your head down in the water and only lets you come up for a quick breath and then pushes you back down.” :)

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21.September.2015

Best wishes as you and Everett continue to heal.

If you haven’t run into the book “Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight” by Sharon Heller, you might really enjoy it. It’s about being sensory defensive.

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replied on September 21st, 2015

Adding to my wish list ASAP!

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21.September.2015

I teared up reading about your son. Mine was involved in a head on collision this summer on his birthday of all things. He slept in our bed a lot of the summer, is afraid of dying, other people dying, and being alone. It’s been intense at times. On the flip side we have had some great conversations as well and I think it has helped him put regular life into perspective. I think it is getting better and I am hoping the routine of school will help. My heart aches for your son having to live in a grown up world sooner than he should have. Best of luck to you all!

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replied on September 21st, 2015

Thinking of you and your son Cindy! xoxo

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21.September.2015

Mrs. Meyers hand soap in parsley scent is my favorite <3

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21.September.2015

Hi Dana! I had an ablation procedure done 8 weeks after I had my daughter because I suffered from SVTs throughout my pregnancy. It was the absolute worse because I ended up in ER everytime and had to be administered adenosine! Pretty scary for a pregnant gal. Luckily the procedure worked and I have since ran in two 5ks. I’m not a runner but I needed to do it to prove to myself that my old ticker is still doing its thing. You will do awesome!

It’s wacky how much you sound like me when you write. We were cut from the same mold for sure. I love your design style and how honest you are. I’m the same with loud places and literally need down time after a party or football game.

Get yourself some good tunes to jam to and rock that 5k.

Sincerely,
Jen V. from Florida

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replied on September 21st, 2015

Good for you on the two 5Ks!

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21.September.2015

I love the skirt! Also, in terms of french fries, I can only eat fries that have a ‘soft’ or ‘square’ end, not a pointy end. Pointy ends suck! Lol! Have a nice day.

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21.September.2015

Mom of 3 here, all girls, ages 8, 5 and 2. You are totally right about the shift from 2-3. Our third was a complete and utter surprise. It took so long to get pregnant with the 1st 2, I think I was in denial when I missed a period and we weren’t even trying, it was my husband who told me I ought to call the doctor. Duh! Love being a mom of 3 but boy are they challenging, especially since they are all just far enough apart that they are all in different stages. My youngest is the bomb-diggity though, she definitely rocks my world. Favorite time of day, when her little 2-year old self tells ME stories before bed-time. We are completely out-numbered, my husband especially, but like you said, we wouldn’t have it any other way either. Great post. Two thumbs up for keepin’ it reals Dana!

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replied on September 21st, 2015

I think that’s one of the hardest things for us too – the differences in their ages. Ours are 10, 7 and 3. There are a lot of things that ten-year-olds can do that three-year-olds think they can do. If you catch my drift :/

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21.September.2015

Congrats on 1000 posts! I recently started following you so I had to go back and read about your little one’s accident. Oh I can relate and it brought back SO many memories; my #3 of 4 has had two accidents~one I witnessed on his bike (I screamed a very naughty word) and one happened with my hubby when we were on vacation in AZ and they went 4-wheeling. Both times he should have been really hurt or had broken bones, but God protected him. He still remembers both (he even wrote about one for a college entrance application.) It takes time… His brain is still recovering too. Good luck on your run! I “wog” walk/jog. If I run I’m probably being chased!

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22.September.2015

I know you probably get a lot of advice about PTSD but if no one has mentioned the effectiveness of EMDR therapy, I wanted to mention it. Definitely one of the most effective treatments, and especially for isolated traumatic incidents like an accident. Be well!

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replied on September 25th, 2015

Yeah, I hate giving medical advice because I feel like anyone who’s suffering from something has heard it all before, and I’m just boring or annoying them…

That being said, EMDR really is something great, and if your PTSD continues to be a problem I really do think you should check it out if you haven’t already.

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22.September.2015

2-3 was hard especially since when we had our “surprise” third baby we then had a newborn, 1 yr old and a 4 yr old. It was quite challenging but then they start to grow and all the hard, sleep deprived years fade away. It gets fun, I mean really amazingly fun. WAAAAY more fun that some crazy tv show stuck on repeat because your toddler will seriously explode if it isn’t on. And not to sound trite, or cliche but I mean this-DON’T BLINK; because when you look back it will seriously feel like just a blink of an eye. Oh and when they get big that third kid really messes up vacation planning, LOL!

Just hang on to this wild ride that is motherhood, there isn’t another like it and I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

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23.September.2015

congratulations! so fun to learn a bit more about you…and i am right there with you on the whole going from 2 to 3 kids. my youngest is 5 now and it’s still so hard every day with 3 kids!

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