You’ve heard of The Sock Monster, right?  You know, that lil’ critter that sneaks into your laundry room and steals single socks leaving you with numerous unmatched mates.  Sure.  But have you heard of the The Shoelace Monster?  No?!  Well, The Shoelace Monster doesn’t steal your shoelaces.  He just messes with them.  Take a look…

He “messes with them” as in he weaves them over and around and through each other and twists them up into tiny, tight knots that are nearly impossible to detangle.  He’s sneaky, too.  No one has caught him in action yet.  (He likes to wait until Gigi and Great Grandpa are napping on the couch to attack their shoes.)  And he’s getting better.  Just yesterday at the gym after work, I pulled my tennis shoes from my gym bag to find the shoelaces knotted.  It took me a good 8 minutes to free them so they were wearable.  (I’m pretty sure the other people in the gym were wondering why the hell it was taking me so long to change my clothes and shoes.)  The knots seem to be getting tighter and more intricate.

Oh, and he’s moved onto other strings now that he’s mastered the whole shoelace thing.  Like Handy Hubby’s swim trunks that tie at the waist.  Handy Hubby spent nearly 20 minutes de-knotting his trunks one day.  He really needed a dunk in the pool after that.

I’m pretty sure The Shoelace Monster is of the male species with brown hair and blue eyes.  My guess is he weighs about 40-45 pounds and stands under 4′ tall.  If you see him, let me know.  I’ve got a bone to pick with him.